I can see clearly now......

This is a name of a song but it is how I feel now. I have had some issues lately on what to do but now things are alot clearer. I would like to say thank you to alot of people who have helped me get through some of my decisions.





1. What to do about my running? I will continue to train and run as hard as I possibly can without disrupting the balance of runner and daddy/husband.





2. What to do about training for a TRI? I have joined the Wellness Center and it allows me to swim in the morning before I go to work. Last week I was able to swim 400M on my back. It might have been not very fast, but I was able to get through it.





3. To have Lasic surgery or not? Well for this question you will have to continue to read for a while.





















Yes that is me on a table in the doctors office. I would first like to say a big thank you to Dr. Matkins. He is first class. His staff made me feel like I was at home during me visit.

I went to the doctors office yesterday after Mandie left from her doctors appointment for her back. Surprisingly our doctors were only 3 blocks away. I was only in the office for about 5 minutes before I was called back to start my visit. I had a traditional visit in his office. Looking at my eyes, putting drops in them and trying to read charts. During the visit, they kept telling me that they were surprised that I was able to see with my glasses because they were too strong.

WWWWWHHHHHAAAAATTTTT????????

I could not believe what I was hearing. My glasses were too strong. I knew the doctor told me on my last visit that my vision had gotten a little better but I did not know how good it really was. I was totally shocked. They were still telling me that my vision was not as bad as I thought it was.

The nurse asked me how long I had thought about having the surgery and I told her about 2 to 3 years. Then she asked me if I could have it, when would I do it. I asked her "What time do yall close up tonight?" I guess she thought I was joking but I was not. She then went down the hallway and got some papers for me to sign. It was the papers for the surgery.

Oh Snap, it is really happening. I am going to have the surgery. No turning around now. The papers are signed and now it is time to talk with the surgeon and get it on.

Now I am beginning to sweat and get very nervous. The nurse brought me some Valium to help calm me down but I think it was nothing but a salt tablet. It did not help cause I felt like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. I was talking about everything trying to get my mind off of it.

Now she came in with the goody bag and booties to put on my feet and head. OMG, here we go. Off to new vision. I was asked to lie down on the table while Mandie sat at the glass door and watched it on the monitor. They started putting numbing drops in my eyes and a patch on my left eye so they would do the right one first. The nurse let me hear the laser first and it sounded like a jack hammer going off. It scared the **** out of me when I heard it. I was not expecting it to be loud.

Now the doctor came in a said lets go. As he was placing tape on my eye lids and placing medal spreaders in my eye, I asked him if my eyes were completely numb. He then grabbed what looked to be a metal hook from a dentist office and was moving my eyeball around. YES it sounds terrible but I did not feel anything. Thank you Lord for pain pills and eye drops.

19 seconds in my right eye while the nurse did a count down for me so it would calm me down. The worst part of it was when he lifted my corina up and he told me I was not going to be able to see for about 4 seconds. Everything went through my mind if I could not see again. But then it came back. Now it was time for the left eye. Same story but only 14 seconds for the left one.

Then he peeled off the tape and the nurse helped me to me feet. I walked back to the exam room for a check up and then I began to sweat very badly. I then began to feel a little queezy on my stomach and asked him if he could wait a minute because I was not feeling good. He asked me if I was going to pass out and I told him no that my stomach was just upset. Before I knew it, he grabbed an ammonia inhalant, put it under my nose and laid me back. I was about .25 seconds from passing out. The nurses were fanning me , one of them went and got a box fan and Mandie went to get me a Sprite to drink. I was so embarrassed. Here it is that I am a Paramedic but my nerves got the best of me.

After about 10 minutes had passed, I was able to sit up and finish the exam. Dr. Matkins said it was normal for people to get sick from the nerves calming down and I was not the first to do this. He then shut the door and asked me a favor. I said sure what can I do for you?

He said "There is a client next door and she is thinking about having the surgery but she heard everything that happened in her and she is scared. She thought you were in pain. Can you tell her if you had any pain?" I told him lets go talk with her. I told her that there was no pain and I just got sick from my nerves.

Mandie drove me home where it felt like my eyes had sandpaper in them. I continued to put drops in them to make them feel better.

Today I went to the doctor here in Macon and he told me that my eyesight is now 20:15. He was also a TRI athlete and he told me not to swim in a pool for a week and not to swim in open waters for at least 2 weeks. This is going to be tough for me to try and get ready for the Sept event. I am going to conitnue to get ready to see if I can do it but if not, there will be others.